The secret of life.

Everybody runs behind something in life. Some people run behind fame. Some people run behind money. Some think that success is their destination. Once they achieve this, time halts. They're lost. They don't know what to run behind anymore. Their pursuit ends here and the only feeling they are left with, is emptiness.

So why do they run behind it in the first place? There is only one secret to life. And that is, Happiness. Everybody wants to be happy, but they are not conscious of how difficult it is to achieve this emotion. "Happiness is a state of being which is achieved when our pursuit reaches its destination". Wrong! Happiness is a state of being which can be achieved right here, right now. It is all about controlling your mind. Difficult? Yes. Impossible? No. Achievable? Definitely!

Happiness is an emotion that not only relaxes your mind, relieves you off stress but also gives you the power to move on and conquer the world! Happiness is strong and powerful. That's the only feeling in the world we live for. Ask an old man how he is feeling? Provided he has had a decent life, he'd reply: Happy and Satisfied. He feels satisfied because he has seen all that there is to see, in life. And he's happy that he had the opportunity to do so.

Happiness stems from the tiniest of things. The first raindrop makes me happy. Icecream in winter makes me happy. Hot degree coffee in the morning makes me happy. Any small tiny thing in the world can make you happy. All you have to do is allow for it to happen.

Beneath different colours or thickness of skin, we're all the same person. Stop resisting and start allowing. There is so much around us that wants to speak to us. We disregard all of it as unimportant and move on grumpily.

Do you not like a certain colour or a flavour of ice-cream? Why? Allow yellow or butterscotch to be a part of your life. What's wrong with either of them? Why can't they be a part of your life too? Why do you differentiate them from the rest of the colours or flavours? Its uncalled for! Also, your face looks ridiculous with that expression of disgust.

Let go of all  your inhibitions. Let go of all  your prejudices. Let go of all your resistance. Allow nature, music, art, creativity to enthrall you. Just give them a chance! You never know what will click. All the laughter clubs that you see start off with a round of fake laughter. Once the other person sees how hilarious it is to laugh fake, then starts the rounds of real joyful laughter! You control you mind to your needs. Make it do what you want it to do. Feel what you want to feel. Its your mind, you CAN control it.

Nobody truly wants 4 cars, 3 bungalows and 8 drivers. Nobody truly wants 5 grad certificates or 7 degrees. All people want, is Happiness. And directly or indirectly, that is what everybody pursues.

Happiness is the secret to well-being. It is the secret of life.

Mind vs. Heart

"My heart says do it. My mind says don't". There has been an eternal battle between what we perceive to be our minds and our hearts. When you can pit two things against each other in simple terms, it makes life easy. Good vs. Bad. Right vs. Wrong. Mind vs. Heart.

We've all heard two different voices in our heads. One that is practical and logical - the Mind. And one that is emotional and impulsive - the Heart. Usually we segregate the creative people from the analytical people. But these two traits are present in all of us. Be it - abstract creativity or logical reasoning - they are both just perspectives. Two sides of a coin. Two sides of a human being.

These two sides are marked by a very thin yet strong line called emotion. Lesser the emotional quotient, higher is the ability to think practically. But if you live with zero emotion, it wouldn't be long until you realize that you've learnt all that you had to. And that's when life becomes monotonous.

The Mind. Most of the time it wants you to tread paths that have already been taken. It makes decisions taking into account your past experiences and ensures that there's a safety net for your future ones. Indirectly it ensures that the path forward does not make you visit/revisit any unpleasant emotions. The mind also makes you feel that emotions are a waste of time. It is purely mathematical and makes decisions with probability and statistics. The mind is organised, structured and methodical.

The Heart. It allows you to appreciate emotion. It makes you feel that nothing can ever be more powerful than emotion. It makes you prioritize your relationships against materialistic entities. It makes you care! The heart does not believe in learning from the past or preparing for the future. It believes in living for the moment. And living it, king-size! The heart is impulsive, sensitive and true.

Most often you might not be able to view situations from both perspectives. One will definitely dominate the other. But when both perspectives are quite strong - that's when the battle begins. What do you do then? Do you listen to the mind or the heart? And who makes this decision - the mind or the heart? Its a vicious circle.

Appreciation. Its quite a difficult quality to inculcate. Frankly, I don't think appreciation can be taught. Everything around us awaits our appreciation. Nature, music, people, the list goes on. The ability to appreciate is from the heart. But what will the mind say? - It's a waste of time.

Philosophy is another tricky subject. If you are open to different views and believe in abstract thinking, you'd appreciate philosophy. Your mind will say - Why bother trying to understand something when its impossible to arrive at a conclusion?

Its a devil vs. devil fight! Feel what your heart wants you to feel. Do what your mind tells you to do. Listen to them both, and you'll survive. I'd advise listening to your heart a little more because there is no fun otherwise.

Book a ticket, fly on a plane, grab a parachute and jump out! If you're alive, your mind will tell you that you were an idiot. Your heart will say - it was worth it! :) 

Women of the 21st century

What does this title bring to your mind? "Ah, she's going to ramble on about feminism and the how strong women have evolved to become" ? Nope. This is what the general notion is. And I'm guessing it's because we see a majority of such posts every day. But this is different. 

What is perspective? When somebody presents a new idea to you, your mind looks at the same situation differently. Someone else's perspective aids in helping you think different. This help is required unless you discover a new facet yourself, in which case, you'd have a new perspective yourself. 

I'm going to talk here about what I've discovered. What I've noticed. There are two very distinct types of women in our society today. And I have seen good quantities of them both, so I can assure you they exist in big numbers!

1.   Damsel in distress: 
You may laugh at this expression since we're only used to seeing such women in TV serials. Reality check - they are present everywhere. These women love to claim that they have no clue about what they're doing/what they're supposed to do and love to seek help from men. Of course if the damsel is pretty, the man has no qualms about getting this work done for her. There are several rules these women play by:

o    Sometimes they know what they have to do, yet find it easier to delegate the task. Sometimes they don't know what to do and don't bother learning it themselves.

o    These women most often seek help only from men. Perhaps they think they'd receive a cold shoulder from women, if they ask.So they find the easiest and fastest way to get things done.

o    They go to any lengths to ensure the work is done either knowingly or unknowingly (even demand for it, in some cases). As long as they don't have to do it themselves, they are happy. Either they do not think about the consequences of their actions/behavior or they simply do not want to.

2.   Independent woman:
She is most often misinterpreted for someone who feels superior to men. The Google definition for feminism itself is: "The advocacy of women's rights on the grounds of political, social, and economic equality to men." Equality. Read that? Equal to men. Anyway, these women like to do things on their own and are polar opposite to the first category. These women sometimes take offense if someone offers to help because they feel its an insult to their capabilities. If I had to compare with the former, their rules would be:

o    Sometimes they know what to do, sometimes they don't. Either way they will learn what they have to do, and complete it themselves.

o    They do not like seeking help from anyone. And in dire situations, if they have to - they ensure that such a situation never occurs again.

o    They have only themselves to blame for their actions and are quite happy with that. Since they don't depend on anybody else, they can predict the output of the work.

These are not the only two kinds of women in this world. These are just the extremes. There are quite a few varieties in between these poles with overlapping characteristics, but the mere presence of these poles is mildly hilarious. If I were to ask women in these categories to explain the other, I'd receive a lot of names in return - 'shameless', 'leech', 'loner', 'bossy', etc. (you can decide which names fit which category!). 

Now the interesting part to note here is that, if one pole exists - the other pole isn't too far away. Both poles may repel each other, but you'd always find them in each others' vicinity. I don't completely understand how/why that happens ... and also how/why that works. But it does!

So before you typecast all women of the 21st century to be exactly the same, stop and think. There's a lot of information right in front of our eyes - and those are what we always fail to notice! 

Holiday Season

“Santa Claus is coming tonight!” I sang along with my dear idiot box.

Christmas traditionally paints a picture of snow, presents under the tree, joyous carolling and merriment. Sure, I’d like to see Santa squeeze his belly down my non-existent chimney but since the wishful thinking ends there, all I’m left with is my television set and movies centred round Christmas. I had spent all my school years like this; we were off for the entire month of December. Since colleges did not offer such generous vacations, I couldn’t imagine how the next four Decembers would be.

Dec 2008 – Semester 1 in CEG was drawing to an end and the exam irritation was mounting to its peak. Following which was a meagre two-week break. Sigh! What came to respite was the company I found. The students of the L batch were quite close-knit compared to the other first year batches. People conjured up several expansions for the abbreviation ‘L’. They, however, chose to call themselves the ‘Gallery Gang’. The college authorities locked up the small gallery soon after, but that is a different story altogether! As the semester passed, this gang invited people from all batches with open arms and we became one big army called the Canteen Gang (yes, we couldn’t think of a better name). A certain friend even miswrote my name in her New Year’s card, but it was all in the game. The festivities had begun with new friendships. Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way!

Dec 2009 – This year had seen highs and lows. The Canteen Gang that once hung out in huge numbers was barely seen anymore. A gradual split had occurred and most of us remained oblivious to it. Cupid’s arrows were missing in aim, for a few. Since we had spent two semesters with our respective departments, a lot of other gangs were formed. This New Year does not bring forth too many memories, so I’ll take the liberty to assume it was relatively uneventful. Silent Night!

Dec 2010 – This year was far from monotonous! The famous “Christ Mom & Christ Child” game was gaining popularity all around. Perhaps you, like the rest of the college, called it ‘chris mom chris child’ too. Ah, the pain endured by my sensitive ears! MS Word unbearably squiggles red lines under it as well. Anyway, my class played it with a twist - a secretive type of ‘Truth or Dare’. The mystery element of who got whom had the entire class excited as our fellow classmates had to perform tasks assigned by their respective Christ Moms. Hilarious month indeed - friends making a fool out of themselves in public and the male folk voluntarily referring to themselves as ‘moms’. Jingle bells, Santa smells, Rudolph ran away! J

Dec 2011 – This year brings in mixed emotions. And it is completely unrelated to the babble involving the Mayan Calendar and the world’s end. I have full faith in Marty McFly, he travels to 2015 in the “Back to the Future” series! This year will only see one semester in CEG. The semester where everybody would have full attendance because nobody would want to let go. A couple of friends joked about how the world should end after we procure our degrees, but they would rather the end of the world now. Neither are being senti nor are we mental, but the fact of the day is that nobody likes change.

December 2012 will not involve memories with CEG unless I face some unforeseen wrath by the professors of my department, but it will nurture the start of new memories. As HBO and Star Movies churn out the same movies each year, I can confidently mute my television and prolifically recite the dialogues of a certain Arnold Schwarzenegger movie where he dons the attire of a superhero that his son idolises, feeling relieved that some things would never change.

“Happy New Year to all, and to all good night!”. Now, where did I keep that remote?

Women

Way back in the sands of time, arrived a little angel, precious as chime.
Flew past months one to nine, now she talks and now she rhymes.

Too soon she grew up, through kinder and through school;  the world watched her turn from playful to cool
Toys and dolls things of her past, the baby blossomed into a woman a little too fast.

Always the apple of her parents’ eye, to them she’s still a baby; her age was just a lie.
She bade goodbye with her angelic smile, off to university with a lot of papers to file.

Cases and hearings kept her hands full; she sought out evidence as much as she could pull.
She always put up a powerful fight, “I rest my case” she says and exits stage right.

Then came the day her father regretted most, she’d found her man; the news came by post.
Intelligent, smart and successful was he; “I’m convinced”, she said “that this is meant to be”.

The flock arrived, around the table they sat; joyful banter followed and night-long chat.
"Greatly must the groom have sinned", they laughed, "there could be no argument that he could ever win".

With mixed emotions of pain and pride, strode down the aisle – the father of the bride.
A piece of him left that day, only to be replaced by a connection; one to stay.

She moved into a new family soon after, welcoming arms and a home filled with laughter.
Numerous roles filled her life; she was a sister, a daughter and a loving wife.

A little princess arrived in May; a new phase began with her career held at bay.
A mother, she now became, to her little baby girl - with rosy cheeks and hair that’d curl.

The circle of life went around once more - school, college, work and marriage - all four.
Her princess now had roles of her own – juggling cooking pots, stethoscopes and her phone.

‘Lady Luck’ or a ‘Woman’s touch’; they are said to change stone to gold
A woman is the one who turns your clay into a meaningful mould.

Mothers, sisters, wives and friends – lets hold our women dear
Make each day count, celebrate “Women’s day” throughout the year.

Media Reporter, Eyes and Ears

October 19 2011: “Ethnic Costume Show” – Sounds like somebody just draped a saree around the words ‘Fashion Show’. Or perhaps ‘ethnic’ was introduced upfront in the title, just to get the green signal from the head of the institution – in either case, can our Eyes and Ears be far behind?

The annual intra-college culturals of CEG, “Agni 2011” hosted its very first ‘Ethnic Costume Show’ under the banner of Aakriti (a newly formed forum exclusively for the girls of CEG) on the 19^th of October 2011 at 2 pm, in the main Vivekananda Auditorium (or Vivek Audi, as CEGians fondly call it).

What we knew: Those waiting in line to witness washboard abs, the likes of John Abraham, please go home – It’s an all-girls event. Also, ‘ethnic’ suggests adornment of only traditional Indian wear. The rules stated that “spaghettis, tubes, halters would lead to disqualification” – for the uninformed, they are types of blouses; not the Italian food or plumbing equipment analogues.

What we expected: A huge albeit manageable turn-out for participation as well as audience-support. Ideas and their execution, of both participants and organisers, mimicking Lakme Fashion Week.  A bright dash of colours on ladies who prove that engineers can be fashionable too. Creative themes that go beyond the realms of clichés like ‘festivals’. Well-equipped lighting technicians to set a disco mood especially for the guest performances, but maybe we’re expecting too much too soon.

Did they meet our expectations? For the most part, they did. The guest band Paadhai (luke) warmed up the audience at the beginning of the event. The roar of the audience rose from them on. All the men in the house cheered for their classmates, micro-mini Manimegalai’s and tank top Thangabagyam’s, who donned attires that their grandparents have been begging them to wear for eternity. Most participants exuded excitement and were very camera-friendly. 

The desi girls

Vital points met; maybe even exceeded, but the organisers lacked clarity in a lot of places.  Rearrangement of order of teams caused a lot of confusion back stage, much to the trouble of the participants. Confusion persisted throughout, with the audio department which triggered a lot of temper rising.

Shame Shame, Shy is came

The judges, Christelda Philip and Rashmi Menon, failed to make an impression. And the comperes for the evening failed to engage the audience. Past the fourth team’s performance, monotony filled the air. Quite a dip in the array of events – considering the fact that 6 more teams were yet to perform. Many left the auditorium even before the hip-hop team ‘Limited Edition’ could take centre-stage.

Judges didn't get a memo about donning Ethnic Costumes

All in all, the Ethnic Costume Show was quite an Eye (and Ear) Opener, which garnered great response from students of all years. The women in the audience learnt different styles of draping their usual (boring) sarees. Some also learnt about the evolution of sarees in different cultures. The men in the house … well, they learnt a lot too. But where they had their Eyes and Ears tuned to, is something we’ll leave to your perception!

Soup boys

Anger

One of the most uncontrollable and violent emotions.

Anger can cause irrevocable damage if our impulses are acted upon. Dealing with dire consequences is not everybody's piece of cake. Anger cannot be easily controlled because it involves almost all of our senses. Expression through words, face, physical action is as natural and quick as a cloth catching fire.

Fire is best used to describe anger. Spreads to all areas instantly, provided they aren't insulated. Makes people burn from the inside and fills them up with negative energy. If this energy remains misguided, the spontaneous ideas that follow could pose a threat for the person who is angry and those in the vicinity.

How does one control anger? Can you initially detect the presence of anger in you? Once you do, is the emotion seeded to grow into a wild tree, or is it nipped in the bud? Sometimes people recognise anger only when the tree has grown far too wild. But if they do detect it early, the emotion settles subconsciously as they persistently think about the situation or object that angered them in the first place. What's the point, really? The past has happened. There's nothing you can change about it. There's a lot you can change about the time you're living in, NOW. But no, our mind finds other things to concentrate upon.

Why do we choose to re-enact the situation that angered us? Those who have achieved the greatest feat of managing their anger, perhaps like to learn how they could have avoided the situation in the first place and prevent its repetition. The others mull in the emotions of the situation because anger makes them feel powerful - it makes them feel superior to the person they're angry with. When this superiority sets in, they feel that any action they take will be able to compensate for what primarily caused the anger. 'I am the King of the World and nobody can touch me' syndrome.

Anger triggers Violence
Violence produces Destruction
Destruction causes Shock
Shock leads to Regret
Regret inculcates Helplessness
and Helplessness could eventually trigger Anger again.

Why get trapped in this vicious circle? Where is the way out? If we can control our impulsive reactions for a while and focus on the actual matter at hand, we're headed in the right direction. Thinking will help us increase our temper tolerance and also find a reasonable solution to the problem at hand. Amicably settled, win-win situation for all.

Why don't we just do that then, you ask? Try it :) ... It is as difficult as searching for a lost diamond in the sands of Sahara.