Where do you want to go?

I wanted to name this post "Who are you?", but then I realised that I already wrote that here. When I went back to read what I wrote, I realised that I wrote about the constantly evolving self. Who you are today, may not be who you are tomorrow, and that may not be who you are the following day.

In principle this seems logical and easy to comprehend. But how do you transition from Today's You to Tomorrow's You?

I guess the first part of this transition is being aware of who you are today and the understanding that who you will be tomorrow may differ. If you are very satisfied with who you are today, there needn't be a different you tomorrow. The crux of the matter is being very aware of Today's You in the truest sense. Why I stress upon this, is because perceptions may mislead. Yours, included.

So let's assume that you now know where you are. Next would be for you to know where you want to go?

Got that? Superb !

Now, how do you get there? :-)

Tea with two sugars, please...

I sip my tea with my bread,

Royally like everyone around me

I know a slurp would raise eyebrows

I don't need anyone to remind me

And into this orderliness, you entered

With your ragged hair and torn shirt

Why did you dress the way you did, I wondered

No one could see beyond your dirt

The guards were quick to surround you so

Nobody in their right mind would let you in, you know

But there you stood tall almost like a prince

Your rags made everyone in the room wince

~

An old lady took you by the hand and sat you down for tea

"Two Earl Greys", she said and hoped you didn't mind

Warm and loving was this old lady to you

You weren't sure how you'd repay her in kind

"Tell me your story", she said sipping her tea

"I'm sure you have one, why else would you be here?"

"I have few questions of my own, madam", you said

She laughed heartily and said, "of course, dear"

"Why did you sit me down for tea?

Everyone here says that i'm not meant to be"

"Oh I know who are you, dear. Your clothes don't fool me

I may be old, but you can't deceive my eyes, you see"

~

"Your clothes are ragged, your hair is a birds nest,

But all of that exterior doesn't really matter

Your eyes speak a story of a pauper or a prince

Everyone here may like to believe that you're the latter"

"You have a story to say, it's on the brink of your lips

It's the shadow that follows you all day long

Untrained eyes just see you for your exteriors

Your shadow remains an unsung song"

"For years, I've seen people sip their tea without slurping

It's most cruel to hide your natural burping

Tell me your story, your shadow, your song

Anywhere in this world dear, you will always belong."

Who are you friendly to?

I had a friend from America who planned to visit India for work purposes. It was her first time to India, so as expected, she read up extensively before visiting the country. She read about the temples, the beaches and the culture (well, based on whatever she could find on the internet) and then felt brave enough to travel. Since she was travelling to an unknown country for 3 months and didn't speak the language, her anxiety seemed justified. But when she did land here, she was completely taken by surprise. While there were many reasons for her surprise, one of her most interesting questions was: "How are people so friendly around her?"

"What? People in India are friendly? Really?", I asked her. She thought a while and said, "well, they are friendly to me!". When I probed her a little more, she said "you know, come to think of it, I notice that they are really friendly to me. However, when I see them speaking with each other, friendliness isn't noticeable in their body language". She couldn't confidently put a finger on this observation since she didn't understand their language, but she noticed it multiple times to come up with a theory.

I should add a quick disclaimer here that when we had this discussion, it was towards the fag end of her 3 month visit and we also debated about how she defined 'friendliness' to exclude the possibility of it being a euphemism for 'kiss ass'. So time taken to collect enough sample data, check. Friendly = Friendly, check.

Who are we most friendly towards?

1. Someone who has the potential to be important to us, i.e., someone whom we can benefit from monetarily, influentially, etc.
2. Someone who has the potential to benefit from us, i.e. someone we can inspire, teach, pay off to fuel our hero complex.
3. Someone whom we connect to on intellectual levels. This category however requires a conversation before the friendliness is displayed.

This theory does not apply to life partners or childhood friends since we mutually agreed that the area was inexplicably grey and we only had three hours to finish dinner before the hotel manager kicked us out. If you are still interested, I attempted to write about it last year ("Friends")

Type 1 is most often noticed and most of us wouldn't even argue about its existence because it is so common. Type 2 is also just as common, however most of us will not confess to it because, well, its not 'heroic' if you call yourself a 'hero'. Type 3 is a very interesting one - not a lot of people have the luxury to have connected with many (due to opportunities from their work lifestyle, home lifestyle, how itchy their travel bug is, etc.). Type 3 is not very rare, but it isn't very commonly noticed either. The reason being, you will discover your feelings of friendliness only after the interaction has taken place and this would make you seek their company again so that your brain gets some more exercise.

My friend is American-Asian and she clearly stood out in a room full of chocolate. On multiple occasions, I've noticed how my indian friends went out of their way to make her feel comfortable for reasons of the Types 1 and 2 category. Once she went back home to America, I realised many of those who exhibited Types 1 or 2 retracted their friendliness because they didn't think it was worth it after long conversations with her.

This made me later think if Type 1 and 2 are entry barriers into Friendship, but Type 3 is what is required for Sustenance.

If this theory makes no sense to you, all I want to say is that: We had Thai food. Clearly, our mind could have been playing games with us!

Well, here's a funny story...

Will Rogers once said that, "Everything is funny as long as it is happening to someone else". How true, right?

So there was once this rabbit going about its rabbit-y things. This rabbit was considered a good rabbit by its pack - she earned her carrots, she lived a respectable life, all others rabbits liked having her around. Our little rabbit was a little bit of a superstar. Let's call her Rina.

One day Rina, our rabbit, was on her way to earn her carrots. It was yet another normal day for Rina. She had to do some hard work and earn some carrots - as simple as that. While she worked hard, she noticed that another rabbit wasn't able to earn her carrots the way Rina did. This new rabbit was upsetting a few people around and wasn't quite self-aware of her actions. As all stories go, we now have a problem. New Rabbit is a villain. Rina is our hero. And I've promised you a story. You are already predicting how this goes, aren't you?

So Rina approaches this new rabbit and tells her what she is doing wrong. New Rabbit is completely appalled since she has not heard such words from anyone else. New Rabbit is confident that her way of work will earn her carrots too. "Sure, but how many?" Rina asks. Rina goes on to share how she earns her carrots and how it works so well for her in the pack. New Rabbit should learn something from her, Rina suggests.

Picture Courtesy: Google Plus

Rina goes on to talk about why others are getting upset by the New Rabbit but after a long chat, the New Rabbit gets upset. She doesn't want to be a part of the pack. Neither does she want any more carrots. She just wants to go home. New Rabbits gathers a handful of her friends and shares her experiences. Handful of friends support the New Rabbit; now why wouldn't they? Who likes to see a young rabbit cry?

Handful of friends are now torn between Rina and New Rabbit. Was Rina right to intervene when the New Rabbit was upsetting people. Did New Rabbit deserve a dose of harsh truth from Rina when she may not have been ready? Who was right? Who was wrong?

Let's look at this from one perspective alone. Rina's.

Why did Rina have to go and talk to the New Rabbit? Rina was earning her carrots by working hard. New Rabbit was finding its feet in the pack and earning carrots too. New Rabbit's work will not earn Rina any carrots. So why did Rina want to try and change the New Rabbit?

Why did Rina want the New Rabbit to be more like Rina? Why can't the New Rabbit just be herself? Was Rina worried about the upset people? Even so, how did she assume that the New Rabbit would behave different by her intervention?

There are a lot of questions in this story, but very few answers. Well actually that is not true. The answer lies in a few paragraphs above this - "...This new rabbit was upsetting a few people around and wasn't quite self-aware of her actions...". Rina did notice that people in her pack were getting upset. However, Rina did not notice that the New Rabbit was self-unaware of her actions. And that has made all the difference.

New Rabbit wasn't a bad rabbit. She isn't the villain in our story. Does that make Rina our villain? Wasn't she our superstar?

If only Rina had been actively present in the moment to absorb all information, she could have made the world of a difference. By merely presenting to the New Rabbit the perceptions that the New Rabbit was unaware of, there might have been noticeable changes. People would have been less upset. Rina goes back to saving the day. People of the pack are happy, New Rabbit is happy, Rina is happy and the sun sets gloriously in the background to some soothing music.

But wait, we don't have that happy ending in our story, do we? What do we have? Two funny rabbits who are more interested in changing each other rather than earning carrots. Well, controversies make for interesting stories, as well!

Cheers :-)

Who are you?

You may choose to describe yourself with adjectives or analogies. Are you sure you have described yourself right? Sometimes we may feel a sense of hesitation about our choice of words or blame our inability to articulate... but is that who we are? Is that who we were? Is that who we want to be?

Who you are, can only be aptly answered if you understand that the person 'you' is a function of time. Who you are today - was not who you were yesterday - will not be who you are tomorrow. There are traits of your pasts that you still possess, some you have let go off and some you have acquired recently. And this is an ongoing cycle for every human being. If we are able to understand the fact that who you are today may or may not be who you are tomorrow, half the journey is covered.

What you believe in today, you may not believe in tomorrow. The great Bertrand Russell once said:

Picture Courtesy: pinterest.com

Its quite astonishing what that many of us may be willing to agree with the above statement, but very few of us have the courage to exhibit this behaviour. Admitting that you are wrong seems like a brave task and we aspire for bravery, however nobody teaches you how to be brave. You have to crawl and fall and learn. 

Some minds tuned to one-way thinking may also call Russell a fraud, since 'he is not owning up to his actions in the future; he is not trust-worthy'. But if we look closely, all he has said is that as per a present day (today), I may have a certain belief. Will I die for it? No, why should I? I might realise that I am wrong tomorrow. Just because we voice out our beliefs today to the world, we feel a sense of hesitation to change our stance on this belief tomorrow. Consistency is perceived as a good thing in the society, and being inconsistent with something so intrinsic as your beliefs may shake the overall perception of who you are.

Does that really matter? Don't we all change over a period of time? Why are we so worried about how inconsistent our behaviour will be in the future? Or rather, how this inconsistency will be perceived.

If you want to stay-put, maintain status quo, by all means continue to do what you are doing and enjoy who you are. If you want to be somewhere else, and expect the environment around you to magically revolve, you may just end up complaining about where you are, and where you will never be. "Seat warming" may very well end up as the biggest strength on your resume.

Finding Mr. Right

Picture Courtesy: pinterest.com

How many times have you felt all alone? How many times have you thought that finding the right companion is the only way you would feel better about yourself? How many times have you actually sought out to find your Mr. Right?

Most of us love this phase of life. You are on your feet, on the chase of Finding Mr. Right. And if you find him, you feel complete. You have now fulfilled your purpose in life.

Let's assume you have found him. Day by day, you learn more and more about Mr. Right. How he walks, what he likes to eat, which movies he prefers to watch, etc. But on days when the sun isn't shining so bright, Mr. Right could also start feeling like Mr. Wrong. He never listens, he is in his own world, he is not the person he used to be... Maybe he wasn't Mr. Right to begin with!

Hold up! What just happened here? How did things take such a sharp turn in just 4 lines?

Every time we chase for something, it seems to lose value after we acquire it. Unfortunate as it may be, this seems to apply to people too. What made you think the same person transformed into someone else, after you found him? In most scenarios, he was and has always been Mr. Normal to begin with.

Ask yourself this question, who is a "Mr. Right"? Is he right for you or for everybody? Is he a certain stereotype that you have in mind? Is he even real? If you go on the lookout for Mr. Right, doesn't that mean you already have some preset qualities you are looking for? Are you going to force-fit that into the next man who comes your way? Or do you plan to wait for eternity until such an ideal man appears in front of you?

And when the said ideal man did appear in your life, how long did it take for him to transform into Mr. Wrong?

Why can't we just make things simpler: Mr. and Mrs. Normal lived happily ever after!

How Hero and Dilwale won my heart !

Hello! If Facebook brought you here, you can ignore the below italics:

It has been brought to my attention that in 2015, I have liked two movies that I would never have watched even! One is Hero and another is Dilwale. And to be honest, I agree. But when I thought about it, I realised that they both share one common formula. Here's what it is ...

Formula = One Hit Song + One Likeable Couple

Hero [2015] marked the entry of two young fresh faces into Bollywood: Sooraj Pancholi and Athiya Shetty. It was so refreshing to see some nice new faces on the big screen. But I don't think I would've loved them as much if not for Armaan Malik's hit number "Main Hoon Hero Tera" (which was so commonly liked, that they decided to repeat it multiple times in the movie! Salman Khan liked it so much, he decided to sing it himself). And here, I will not take away credit from these youngsters either. It was their first film, and they have done a pretty decent job of not making a fool out of themselves. Perhaps they were terrified of their actor-turned-producer Salman Khan. They look good, the music in the background is good, some locations were breath-taking and overall this film was enjoyable.

Hero [2015]

Dilwale [2015] was the joke of the century. People were waiting with bated breath to somehow beg, borrow or steal first weekend tickets to this film. The production house did some excellent pre-release marketing and social media coverage. Everybody wanted to watch this movie! And as high as their rise was, the movie went through a sharp fall the first weekend. The producers made their money and all that, but the fans were disappointed that there wasn't any story. The problem here was that Shah Rukh and Kajol were put as faces of the movie (and we have known them for the romantic DDLJ that they gave us). This was a problem because people assumed that Rohit Shetty could pull off a Yash Chopra. Or rather, they expected it. Quite clearly, their expectations weren't met.

Dilwale [2015]

So why did I like this movie? I felt like I was going home. People who grew up in the 90s idolised Shah Rukh and Kajol and rare gems like Johnny Lever. Seeing them all on screen made me feel like I was back in my childhood. Yes, they don't look like they did before. But their chemistry hasn't changed at all. For those of you who have seen the movie: The 5-min date scene is a #RelationshipGoal. If you can't go crazy and act lunatic with the person you love, you might not have found the right person for you. For Shah Rukh and Kajol to effortlessly bring that up, they must be really good actors.

Now if you remember the Formula, there should be a Hit Song too right? And there is. In the heart-melting voice of Arijit Singh, the song "Janam Janam" (again commonly liked by all) has been played throughout the movie. There is also another favourite - Gerua. I love the original as well as the spoof !

Story. No Story. Lights. No Lights. Fancy Cars or not, if you are able to apply the above Formula, you will have one Happy Suchi.

And she will watch your movies on loop.

Happy 2016 !

Overcomplicating to Impress

Masterchef is back on television and it is quite addictive to watch a show about people cooking food. This show is conducted in such a beautiful and crisp manner which makes it very interesting to watch. If you've been living under a rock, Masterchef is a television reality show about amateur cooks competing against each other.

Now these guys are all home cooks. Somewhere in their daily routine, they realized that they have a passion for cooking and wondered 'why not do it professionally?'.

But when that thought of professionalism crept in, it also brought along a friend -  Mr. Insecurity. "I am only a home cook, I can't make a complicated dish, I can't make my dish look like the product of a fine restaurant", it moaned. Mr. Insecurity totally forgot about the concept of deliciousness. It only worried about impressing the judges and scoring those marks.

In the initial few weeks, almost all the contestants cooked from their hearts -  dishes that they were familiar with and their family loved to eat! Then they went through a phase of questioning if it was enough. And in the quest to push the bar, they started overcomplicating their dishes. Did it make the dish look overwhelming? Yes. Was it delicious? Hell, no.

Thanksgiving Plate#1 (from Wordpress)
Just for representation purposes :-)

One of the mentors, Marco Pierre White, kept going on like a broken record "Keep it Simple". They heard him, they understood him, but under pressure it became second nature to overcomplicate. How is it that we subconsciously think 'more is good'? Whenever we are caught in a pressure situation (with food or without!), somehow we think it's rational to put in many elements and let the audience pick up the ones that they want.

While leaving this choice to the audience, we totally ignore the negative effects that the bad elements could have on the good ones and that could completely cloud the entire situation. As they've always said, one rotten egg is all it takes...

Take a moment. Think about what you want to plate up. And go ahead and do it. If you throw in too many elements, all you're going to end up with is a mess. And frankly a mess doesn't look too appetizing, does it?

But this sure does! Beautifully plated dessert...
Courtesy: johnvalls.com

How old are you?

About two weeks ago, I had a very interesting conversation with a teenager. Her formative years were spent in Muscat, in a popular school where a lot of my other friends studied (many years ago!).

We were engrossed in comparing Muscat schools vs. the ones here in Chennai. We are roughly ten years apart in age but it didn't seem like much had changed as far as the school-scene is concerned.

When I enquired about a friend that she was mentioning in one of her stories, she was very quick to point out that the girl wasn't a "friend". How could she be? She was TWO YEARS younger than her! This was her reasoning.

That's when I realised how much of importance we give to 'age' as a 'number'  in schools and colleges. Today I work with people, some of whom are ten years older than me, some are five years younger than me,  all in the same team -  and it's a level playing field for all! After a point you don't even think about how old your teammate is. It's just the skills or talent that matters.

But when you're in school, somehow your brain maps your seniors / juniors very differently. They cannot be your 'friends' since they aren't your age. Surprising, isn't it? You would look at seniors as know-it-all's and underestimate your juniors' maturity levels. Even if they are barely months younger or older to you.

All of this doesn't really matter after you cross 20. Really! So, how old are you? You're just as old as you want others to see...

Make a Request

While I drove towards an intersection today, a small kid waved his arm requesting me to stop. His school was on the opposite side of the road. I stopped and let him cross and wondered why he didn't wait at the zebra crossing 100 metres away.

And then I wondered why I even stopped in the first place?! Shouldn't I have just kept going? This kid would've crossed when the traffic thinned down, or the traffic policeman might have asked him to go to the zebra crossing and wait for the light.

So why did I stop? When I asked myself that question, I realized that I responded to a request. This kid requested me to stop, and I obliged.

Several times I have stood at an intersection assuming that people would stop for me, because in my head I thought -  'isn't that the way to be?' . In the western countries, several people show courtesies like giving way to pedestrians, giving way to drivers who have been waiting in a no-signal zone, etc. And here in India, no one does that. Maybe that's why people try to push their way to get through.

But this little kid made a request. He didn't try to push his way through. He made a request and I stopped for him. Now this isn't a Bollywood movie - He didn't smile or wave after walking past, but somehow I felt happy. Happy that I was able to do something for someone else. And I guess that's a natural feeling. We all love to give, we all love to spread happiness.

But how would we know what makes you happy? Tell us! Make that request. It wouldn't make you a smaller person.

Dancers caged in a Studio!

Dancing. Just reading those letters makes you feel like sighing of relief. Many of us love to dance or watch someone else dance. It soothes the body and mind!

"Dance is a way to find yourself and lose yourself, all at the SAME TIME". Many dancers would relate to this quote, since dancing is one activity where you feel like everything else around you stands still. Dancing makes you feel free.

Which is why, I find it ironic when I see the plight of dancers in this generation. All of what I've observed is in the Indian subcontinent - hence my views will be heavily biased by the culture and tradition here.

I've known many types of dancers - classical, jazz, freestyle - and all of these dancers have been a part of an institution, studio, company, etc. Many kids right from the ages of 5 begin to learn dancing. Ofcourse, some would quit along the way but there is a significant population that realizes their passion for dance along the way and aspires to take it up professionally.

This latter population is unfortunately caught in some very thick soup. 

In India, your teacher is your 'Guru'. And your Guru is probably the most important person in your life (or so, our culture asks us to believe). This may have been relevant in the medieval ages where, students used to live at the Guru's home and learn in a system called Gurukul. All of their adolescence is spent at this Gurukul and the Guru teaches every student all the knowledge that he has (and imparts life's lessons along the way too!).

Today, the teaching system happens in parallel with life. You study in school, you study in college, in parallel you learn to play the Piano, dance jazz, juggling perhaps and many other skills. But yet this Guru believes that he/she is the most important part of your life.

Courtesy Pinterest; Pinned from weheartit.com

Lets take Dance Gurus for instance.

"You cannot dance with other organisations / other dancers"

"You cannot learn from other teachers"

"You want to start-up something new on your own? What will happen to this class then?"

Many Gurus do not embrace the concept of diversity these days. Our Gurus believe that this would 'dilute' the purity of the style you've learnt so far. And you might also start taking them for granted, spending lesser time in your original institution.

What about the dancer's freewill? Dreams, aspirations, goals? The Guru is an established person who has made a name for themselves in this field. When do the dancers get such an opportunity? Why should they shadow under your light for eternity while you demand for them to hold you in the highest regard?

Several institutions have signed contracts with dancers regarding the terms and conditions for their time, money, choreography copyright protection, etc. Dealing with such professionalism is actually quite refreshing to hear.

Most other Gurus 'assume' that their students will blindly follow instructions. "I have taught you all this while, now I am asking you to teach new students - how can you not oblige?". What is in it for the students? Nothing. No value for time, no value for money, no 'thank you' in return even. 

Courtesy: Flickr; Velocity Implosion

Shouldn't dancing be considered as just another profession? Write the rules of the game clearly, give people the space to evaluate what THEY want (instead of deciding for them) and keep things as simple as Black and White. 

If Gurus continue to believe that dancers will feel indebted to them for life, they are in for a lot of disappointment. And this disappointment results in questioning their loyalty, which leads to a dark vicious circle hurting everybody in the process.

Dancing is all about feeling free. Let them Go. Don't cage them in, they aren't yours to cage in the first place. Make life easy for them, without all the emotional turmoil. Be a leader, not a teacher.

Let them free...

Why do we worship under-preparedness?

I like entertainment. I am willing to pay for entertainment. Now this combination is quite difficult to find among Indians where we are so used to freebies. So when people like me exist, we have only one expectation - to get entertained. Sounds simple enough doesn't it?

Here's the back story. There was a concert I attended recently where four amazing kids from a singing reality show came down to my city to perform. Their voices sounded just as good as they did when I saw them on TV, maybe even better. But overall the show was quite disappointing. There were so many gaps in the middle of the show, the singers weren't sure how to keep the audience engaged (they're kids, they did try though). To avoid those gaps, the kids tried to sing their next song as quickly as possible, (which is sweet) except that their voices couldn't handle such back-to-back singing. Now there was an emcee in this show who did bare minimum and assumed he was amazing and the people loved him (sigh!).  Since he was effectively kissing ass,  his paycheck would come through.

I paid a lot of money for my ticket and what's more important was my Saturday evening time. Was I entertained? Meh!  Now don't get me wrong,  the kids were great.  They are such brilliant singers and they might be the only saving grace of the evening. But I would've preferred to watch this on TV with the editors doing their thing and delivering some crisp entertainment. The funny part is I don't know whom the hold accountable is this case.

The sponsors. They felt like they have done Chennai a big favor by bringing these kids here for their first ever concert.

The emcee. He did not know the composition of his audience and didn't know how to connect to them. Language was a huge barrier. If this happened in a less sophisticated auditorium, I'm sure he would've been boo-ed away.

The musicians. They tried to keep up with the singers,  but clearly they hadn't rehearsed before. Or matched tunes. Or knew what key to play in. There was a lot of back-and-forth between the singers and the band leader.

The singers. Their first concert, so I'm assuming they didn't prepare for the gaps between songs. One of them showed some leadership and gave some background about the song that they were to perform,  so the others followed suit. Given the fact that they are under 15, I don't think it's right to expect too much off them.

The organisers. Who or where were these guys?

Now to top it off, the emcee announced on stage that these singers were singing with the musicians for the first ever time without any practice. "Wow, give it up for them",  he said. 😕

Are you kidding me? I gave you my money to be entertained. You're doing a fairly average job and now gloating about the fact that there was no practice or rehearsals? Give me my money and time back!

Anybody in the music industry can vouch for the fact that you need to rehearse before you do live shows.  Now present before me a spectacular show and tell me there were no rehearsals, I'd be surprised! Present before me a half baked show and expect me to clap for no rehearsals - No.

I don't understand why we worship under - preparedness. Yes spontaneity is good,  but that doesn't mean you come under prepared. Spontaneity can be showcased when you are ready for any possible scenario and yet right there at that live moment,  you're faced with something new.

The kids practiced their songs themselves.  They should have practiced it with the live musicians too. The organisers should've known there'd be breaks between the songs and handled it better. They should've analyzed their audience and  brought in a more suitable emcee who does more than just kiss-ass.

Practice makes man perfect. Haven't we heard this time and again? Loads of practice makes you so perfect that you are effortless when you need to perform. You cannot be perfect unless you practice.  You cannot beat a hundred gundas unless you first go to the gym and build some muscles. Films are unrealistic. And being filmy is overrated.

If you want my money, you better be worth it.

Friends

How many Friends do you have? 20, 10?

Have you ever paid attention to the types of friends that you have? What if I tell you that you are only comfortable with 2 (or maximum 3) types of people? Well, its true.

Think of your closest friends whom you spend maximum time with, or your 'inner circle' as you'd like to call it. Think about what makes you like them, which quality of theirs you find endearing, why do you like spending time with them... Take a moment here and think!

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You might realize that there are mainly two types of people we hang out with:

1. Those who make us feel happy.
2. Those whom we aspire to be like some day.

The first category pretty much speaks for itself. Their company is enjoyable, your conversations are enriching and you both laugh together!

The second category might seem a little 'strong' for some of you. I'm not talking role models here. But some people possess traits that we subconsciously want to exhibit (but aren't doing so, for some inexplicable reason). Only in this category I can relate to the age old phrase: "Opposites attract".

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Let me give you a self-example. 

I am a tad bit on the lazy side. Hence, I quite enjoy the company of diligent people. I'm always in awe of how they meticulously get things done. Most of them are structured and disciplined people, and somewhere deep down I believe that 'life would be better that way'.

It is a debatable topic where most of friends say - the grass is greener on the other side. And they talk about wanting to loosen up a bit. But the point is, I realized that if any new person I meet possesses these traits, there seems to be an instant connection. Immediately your mind maps their traits to someone similar in your circle and hey, you are buddies pretty soon!

Have you ever felt this before? How similar are your friends to one another?

What traits do you find most endearing? I'd love to know.

Minions

What is cute, tiny, yellow and bring a big wide smile to your face? A banana.

Now this wonderful yellow banana is also quite appealing to someone else we know. Who? A minion.

Who knew that these side-kicks (who were once planned to be just that) would end up becoming movie stars themselves? They have quite literally taken the animation industry by storm with the latest release of Minions 3D.

The business doesn't quite stop with the movie, there are several merchandise of Minions which are getting quite popular these days! McDonald's has their advertisements screaming all about it !

But why is any of this happening? It is only because of how instantly like-able these little things are. They are tiny, their language is like baby-talk and they go about doing their own thing. They all have normal human names (Kevin, Bob) making them feel like one-of-us. And they are quirky in their own ways: they laugh at the weird noises made by the water cooler.

I was unbelievably excited for the release of the Minions movie, but for some reason it did not release in my city! Terribly disappointing. But recently, I came across a minion who was dressed in the traditional attire of my land. And I fell in love with these characters all over again! A normal Tam-Brahm 'Subramanian' is now Subra-Minion.

Tiny. Cute. Yellow. Bananaaaaaa... !

Where all magic comes to life !

If you love animation films, you are probably a huge fan of Pixar. Especially one of their latest Academy Award winning blockbuster, Frozen.

The visuals, the music, the story line just takes the movie experience to a whole new level and all of this is possible only because Disney and Pixar keep reinventing their characters. They are intelligent enough to not repeat the saturated stories of Cinderella and Snow White.

But with the release of Frozen, the internet has been ranting about the depiction of the female characters. Lots of people have noticed that the sisters Anna and Esla look so similar that they could pass off as identical twins. Here's a picture to prove it:

This made a lot of people talk. The only way you can perhaps identify them uniquely is by their hair colour and dressing sense. Disney fans went back to their drawing boards with their favourite characters (Rapunzel from Tangled and even the latest additions of Joy, Sadness and Disgust from Inside Out). Pixar's definition of a beautiful female face always seems to involve a small nose, while the men enjoyed all kind of face features and noses ! The telegraph gives you some graphic evidence here.

The Afictionado points out the Dreamworks has done things a little differently. They have given a variety of facial shapes in their meant-to-be-liked heroines, which not only help you distinguish them, but also make them feel more real. Imagine how awkward it would be if your mother and love interest had the same face !

The reason we are all here talking about Pixar and their faces is because we want them to listen. We are drawn to your movies anyway, but let's not contain female beauty to one design. Let me make things clear - I'm not treading the lines of objectification of beauty, I am more interested in identifying the characters uniquely on screen without much difficulty.

Waiting for more...

Are you just a figment of my imagination?

Facebook saw a lot of posts where people shared this idea: "Some scientists agree that if you saw a clone of yourself, you wouldn't recognize it. This is because our idea of what we look like (from pictures and reflections) is so different from what we actually look like."

Take a moment here to think about this. You have never "seen" yourself in reality - buying vegetables, taking  a walk in a park - never. People around you have always told you what YOU look like (with the advent of technology of course you could visually see yourself on a different medium - paper, print and now digital). You had to believe these people and the prints in front of you. There was no reason, not to... Right?

Now picture yourself in 3D walking down the street and assume you're watching yourself as a third person. Would you recognize yourself? Is the person that you 'see', reflective of who you 'think' you are? Notice how your mind and your visually senses can be contradictory and deceptive. 

If you cannot recognize your own self in reality, what is to prove that the people around you are as real as you believe? You speak to them, you laugh with them, you live with them, you can see and feel them. That's your senses. And your brain perceives all the emotions that you attach to these people.

Who are they? Are you sure they are real, or just a figment of your imagination?

~ A Beautiful Mind

Curiosity

Your mind always has an insatiable hunger for interesting information. It could be scientific facts or workplace gossip. The key emphasis of the sentence was the word 'insatiable'. Some saints once said - Curiosity kills. Your mind desperately seeks answers to a lot of questions, but you feel like you can't find any. You try running in different directions hoping to find a meaningful path somewhere. But what are you left with? Nothing! Infact if you're pretty unlucky, you might just end up with more questions. Let's check your BP - 150/100 - Phew!

Ok how did we come here? Where did we begin? You might have pretty much lost track of the path - what brought you here is the force that drives it all - curiosity. If you weren't curious, you wouldn't be moving at all. Your movement might be forward or sideways, but you're moving nonetheless. Sometimes, the same saints also say - Ignorance is bliss! The only instance where that sentence might be true is when curiosity has no effect on you. Let's check your BP - 120/80 - the doctors would probably agree too!

It's a little complicated. To understand what I've been saying, you need to be either one of the following:

• cursed with too much intelligence or 
• bored out of your wits! 

Anyway, I have realized that curiosity is visible in all walks of life. You can be curious about information, about material goods and funnily also about people. Sometimes when you observe a couple of people, you tend to learn about how they behave in different situations. You try and discover their personality and make a lot of assumptions in the process. The very reason why you are in this pursuit is because you don't have the answers. If you did - they'd just be normal people. There wouldn't be anything about them that interests you - and to put it simply, you wouldn't care two hoots about them! 

The only inference I can make from all this is that - we love the chase! We love seeking answers even if it drives us crazy. We love running behind things or people hoping everyday that we would learn something new. With every new ounce of information, we build our knowledge wall ... but the architect in your mind never tells you its limiting height. This hunger to learn is insatiable. 

What makes you stop then? Let's assume you do stop at some point - does that mean you're no longer interested? Have you got all the answers you needed? Or is it pointless to probe further because you aren't going to achieve anything meaningful? As I said, it's complicated. My BP is at 150/100 again - the doctor isn't going to be happy!

If you're reading this - you've reached a point where you have more questions than you did when you began reading this post. I never told you I was going to give you the answers either. We are all thinkers. We are all curious. We may not be obsessive and compulsive - but then again, that's a choice you'd have to make. So what do you do when you get obsessively curious? The only solution is to let go ... but ... How?

This is a weakness of the human mind. It can be easily tricked if it goes to the point of curiosity - it has reached a vulnerable state. Anything you say or do in this state will penetrate easily. This is true even for the most guarded people. But can we really use this to our benefit? Or should we? Hmm.... I think not!

Rather, let's follow 2 simple principles to keep the curiosity alive:

1. Never tell people everything you know.

2.

Popularity

All through your childhood, you listen to the broken record of "Hardwork brings Success". Over the years, Success has become synonymous with Fame and unfortunately Hardwork with Stupidity.

You don't need Talent to become a known face. You can achieve the same with Stupidity. Make an incredibly useless video of yourself and put it up on YouTube. Share it on all the other networking sites to get a wider audience. The catch is that you would need to do all the stupidity with a straight poker face. Make others believe that you seriously think you are talented. You get people's attention, they laugh AT you (you play to the audience saying 'they are laughing WITH you') and you lose every last ounce of respect in the process.

What is this dire need to become popular? So what if you're a Nobody? Isn't that what every famous person wants to be? How is it that you are absolutely OK coming off as a complete idiot? 

Sigh! 

#Things I will never understand!

10 things about the 5 steps to make 3 points in 1 story.

That is probably my longest post title yet. But its easy to read. Why? - its because you find a lot of numbers in it.

Our brain processes words better if they are in the form of lists or points. It helps us remember what we read. Readers get a sense of accomplishment if they remember what they read - else it feels like a futile exercise.

You have a staircase in front of you. Right beside it, is an ascending slope. Both begin at point A and end at point B. If you want to enjoy and appreciate the journey, rather than the destination, you would choose the staircase. You know beforehand how many steps it would take to reach point B and at every instant, you are aware of which step you are on.

Let me give you 5 ways to understand what I just said:
1. Your brain understand crisp points better than long sentences.
2. If you remember what you read, you appreciate the reading process.
3. A good read is a well-written flight of stairs.
4. My three paragraphs are in the three crisp points above. You now remember the flow of my story.
5. You know I'm going to conclude here because you are aware I said "5 points" in the beginning.

Ofcourse, such lists are easy to remember only if the number of points are < than the number of fingers you've got! Its the best way to summarise and emphasise the important messages in your story. Also remember that people are afraid of long sentences - they fear that it would put them to sleep! And more often than not, it doesZzzz...

So basically I'm saying - Bullet, number or star your short and crisp messages because...

Packaging is as important as content!

Konfused Kolkata

India's first capital. This city has a charm that's appealing in most cases. But it is quite confused. There's always an old and new to everything here.

The name. Drape a red and white saree around 'Calcutta' and stuff its mouth with a few roshogullas - you'll end up with 'Kolkata'. Here both names are quite commonly used.

The bridges. Our dear Bongs love the concept of bridges. You'll find two Howrah's along the Hooghli river. Although they've been christened differently, popularly they are referred to as the Old Howrah and the New Howrah.

The city. Time travelling exists in Kolkata. In a few sectors, if you aren't paying much attention to detail, you'll feel like you've travelled from the 1920s to the 21st century. There is such a drastic difference between Old Kolkata and New Kolkata. The older version of the city has elements of the colonial era, but the British aren't here to maintain it and neither did they teach us how to. Hence, you might find it noisy and dirty.

The buses. Public transport in this city is quite colourful. All the taxis here are yellow. But the buses? You'll find a few buses in red, a few in green and a few in blue. The Govt was too confused to limit the buses to one colour.

The weather. In winter, the sun sets around 4.30 pm. I agree that this is due to India's decision to standardise time in the country, but this causes a lot of visual confusion. The city is completely dark before the clock strikes 5.15 pm.

The people. Here i'm only talking about the people on the roads. Drivers of trucks/buses/taxis/cars are quite restless and confused - the roads become one-way/two-way based on the time of day. Pedestrians are quite confused - the signals fluctuate and are quite misleading. Most others seem like they are on a race against time. They want to reach some place urgently, but they don't really know where they want to go.

This konfusion is quite kontagious. If you're kaught in the middle of it, without intending to, you know you're in Kolkata.